Reflections

November 8, 2007 |

Looking back on my life, there are so many emotions that come rushing in. I’ve experienced a lot in 46 years. Some of the things I’m proud of and some of the things I’m not. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life, but who hasn’t? Things I should’ve said or should’ve done differently. Like spent more time with my daddy before he died, but who knew it would happen that morning? I was 25 and somehow you don’t think about things like that at that age. But you do later in life when it haunts you. One thing that I learned from that experience with my Daddy was that from that moment on, I was always there to make sure everybody had what they needed, to make sure they were taken care of.

No matter how hard you try, there are still those instances that you have no control over. I wish I had been standing at my moma’s bedside holding her hand when she took her last breath. But who knew at that hour or day she would die. You can’t predict things like that. Nor do you often have the opportunity to say things you wish you had. You can’t change yesterday, for what is done is done, but you have control over tomorrow.

That’s like God’s love for us. He sent Jesus to die for us knowing all the things we were going to do. Can I change anything I’ve said or done? Anything that’s happened? No. Can anybody? No. Everybody makes mistakes. But like me, they can go on knowing that our savior loves us all and forgives us. He’s still the same God standing there with His arms out-stretched waiting on us to come back to Him. Just as Jesus was with His arms out-stretched on the cross about to die for all our sins. I thank God for all the wonderful memories I have and the people He has given me to love. I kind of became a loner because as far as I was concerned, I already had the people I loved. But God has shown me differently. Someone once said “Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?” You better believe it! Would I go back and do anything different? Of course I would. Wouldn’t you? Everybody has things in their life they’d change. But there are those things I wouldn’t take anything for. Do you still love? Of course! Do you forgive and go on? Absolutely! Life doesn’t come with a script. We do the best we can.

Do you ever say “what if”? Those two little words mean so much. What if I’d gone to college, what if I’d married this man or that man? What if I’d moved away or was born in a different country? You can’t live your life in what ifs. All you have is the life you have right now. Make the best of it.

People make decisions everyday and we’re all human. As long as we’re breathing we’ll all make mistakes. We just have to face up to the mistakes that we’ve made. There are so many things I wish I could say. There are so many things I wish I could do. There are so many things I wish I could take back but I can’t. But isn’t that the way with all of us? There’s nothing wrong in saying I made a mistake. But we don’t have to stay in them. We can turn our life around and change.

So as I reflect back on my life, I remember all the times of happiness and all the proud moments, there were so many. Through all the fun and laughter we’ve shared, and times of great pain and sorrow, God has brought me so far and taught me so much. I have so many fond memories looking back on all the love and all the fun we’ve had. I have learned that in all things, trust and depend on Him, continue to love and forgive because I don’t want to be a “what if”. Do you?

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

As far as the east is from the west, that’s how far he has removed our transgressions from us. - Psalms 103:12

Loretta

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